Inquiring minds want to know! (aka Sallie answers Carmon's questions)

Tell us more about how you met your husband.
Well, there is the short version and then there is the long version! Since this is a story I would eventually want to tell on my blog, I’m going to tell the long version.

I was 29 years old and teaching first grade in a Christian school. I really wanted a computer, but couldn’t afford one. My parents had set aside some money to pay for my wedding “someday”. They offered to give me that money to buy a computer with the understanding that I would have to pay for my own wedding. Since there weren’t any prospects on the horizon, I decided to take them up on the offer. So in March of 1996 I purchased a computer and signed up for AOL.

At that time, the only stories you heard about people meeting online were bad ones – people leaving their spouses for people they met online. My parents admonished me to not meet anyone online. I had no intention of doing any such thing so I figured they didn’t have anything to worry about.

One evening in May I felt compelled to visit the area that Focus on the Family had on AOL. (At that time FOTF did not have a website, but rather they were a keyword on AOL.) I remembered seeing their information somewhere, but could not remember what the address was. I looked and looked through my room trying to find that address! I now think there was an angel in that room with me, prodding me on!

I found the address and went to their site. I started poking around and found a section about single living. Being single was a big issue for me, so I looked to see what they had to read. Lo and behold, there were several folders with titles such as “Singles in Michigan”. Now for being fairly bright woman and with the gift of discernment to boot, I can be pretty clueless at times – the obvious can TOTALLY escape me. It never crossed my mind those would be “personals” but that is what they were. There was a post in there entitled “Waiting on God in West Michigan’. That intrigued me because first, waiting on God had been a huge theme in my life for several months and second, I was interviewing for a teaching job at a classical Christian school in West Michigan!

I opened the post, read it and KNEW I had found a kindred spirit. I don’t know how else to describe it. Something in my spirit was so moved at that time and I now know it was God revealing my husband to me.

I wrote a response to David, he wrote back to me and then we chatted live the next day. I asked him all kinds of hard questions to make sure he was truly a Christian and not just “Christian” for lack of a better description. We started writing long letters every day. We did not exchange pictures, but did describe to each other what we looked like. We both quickly developed strong feelings for the other, although we did not share that information with each other at that time. After writing for about a week, we decided to meet in person. I drove to Grand Rapids (from Haslett, near East Lansing) and we met at a restaurant after work.

We had a nice time, but it was awkward. David describes it as “There was email Sallie and now I had to get used to real life Sallie.” The first few times we got together it was awkward, but we continued to write daily and get together in person when we were able.

Because we were older (David was 33), we both knew what we wanted and what we didn’t want. Neither one of us was interested in “dating”. This was either heading toward marriage or we were done. By July 4 we knew we were committed to heading toward marriage. I got the job at the school in June, moved to Grand Rapids in August, we were engaged October 4 and we were married January 25.

So we had to pay for our own wedding, but since God used the computer to bring my husband to me we figure it was worth it!

How do you balance your work in your home business with your homekeeping responsibilities?
Not very well some days!

I guess the key is realizing that I cannot do everything with excellence every day. Some days I focus more on the homekeeping and other days I focus more on the work of the home business.

The biggest challenge is fighting against the last remnants of feminist thinking that working on the business (read that “working for money”) is more important than dusting and making a good meal. But I’ve come a long way. I do love being a homemaker, but it is hard to get out of the “earning money and proving your value by what you make” mentality.

Do you have any pet peeves?
Oh my yes! Because I struggle with being such a black and white, firstborn type, I could have lots of pet peeves if I let myself! But by far the biggest one would be rude people. This would especially include people using their cell phones in public places where it really isn’t necessary (such as nice restaurants) and inconsiderate drivers.

What advice do you have for single ladies, waiting to get married?
Trust and wait. Don’t settle for an Ishmael. I’ve attended weddings of friends who married to get married or married a very immature man and they were sad occasions. It is hard to be excited for a friend when you know she is making a mistake. I’ve also attended and been in weddings where the bride waited for God’s choice and there is such a remarkable difference in every way. It is such a joyous occasion to see God bring two people together in His time and His way. I never would have dreamed I would meet my husband the way I did, but it was so God! He can do the same for you and give you more than you can possibly dream!

The other advice would be to do everything you can to grow spiritually in the meantime. The more mature you are as a disciple of Christ, the easier the transition to marriage will be. I have witnessed this in my own marriage and in the marriages of others around me. Pray for your future husband that he will be growing in maturity too.

What is your favorite possession (no fair going Gnostic on this one!)?
My NIV Bible that I used while I was going through a period of intense spiritual growth in my 20's. It is filled with notes regarding Scriptures God had given to me. When I look through that Bible now, I am amazed at how far God brought me during that time. It was a precious season.

Now for some of you to participate!
If you would like me to interview you, please leave a comment and indicate your interest. I will interview the first three people who respond!

1. Leave a comment saying "interview me".
2. I will respond by leaving you five questions.
3. You will update your blog/site by answering the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else.
5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

P.S. I live in the eastern time zone so if you respond after I've gone to bed, I'll post your questions in the morning!